I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
My house exploded and with it all my pot went up in smoke.
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