it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Apparently when the cops arrived I was standing over him in the bathroom yelling, get the fuck up you piece of shit. Beer still in hand.
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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