but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Randomize
