No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
