I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
i tried to get you to come inside, but you insisted on throwing up in the flowers "because they're pretty."
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
He set two of my ex boyfriends on fire at two different bars without anyone knowing it was him or how it happened either time. He might be a fucking super hero
I mean, they were small fires and no one got hurt, but still. Awesome.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Yea. You locked yourself outside naked with nothing but running shoes and claimed it was a "parent trap thing."
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
