he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Best morning ever. I saw a bum giving another bum a blowjob downtown.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I think my greatest accomplishment today was probably using a bottle opener to get the cap off my fourth drink while holding the cat WITHOUT dropping him.
Oh god, what has my life become?
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
