you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Went on a blind date. Afterwards I ripped my pants off and said "it's game time". He was into it.
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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