My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Dude you can't just initiate a threesome via twitter
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
We started telling people we were married, and then we hooked up on a park bench
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Randomize