he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
I love how my cats smell like pot.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
You got the eggs out of the fridge and yelled "my chickens are beasts at making eggs" and then pegged them at the ceiling and at a couple who were making out
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
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