she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
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Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
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I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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