your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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