I wanna passion pit in your ass
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Randomize
