rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Well yes he stayed. He brought Guiness, them he shaved me. It's a long, but beautiful story.
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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