I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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