ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
it's like heaven, but drunker
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
are you still mad that doritos made their way into my sex life
.....a litte
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
