So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
He can't say no, it's my spiritual goddamn quest.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
