i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
I definitely ripped a mole off of her back in the process
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
hung over. covered in somebodies makeup. and ready to drink.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
Randomize
