and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize
