Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We got so high we made milksteak
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
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