I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
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