He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Two questions for you. Did I throw up last night and did we get food or did I dream that..?
No you never threw up but you did force me to take you to wendy's because you wanted "beef and ketchup"
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Randomize
