You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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