420 ftw
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
