No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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