sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
i love that we sang a whole new world together while you carried me through campus
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
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