What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
He puked in the funnel and continued to chug it. Who is this dude?
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
