i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
