he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
The port-a-pottys are knocked over so I have nowhere to sleep.
You need to simmer down or I'm going to buy you a labia leash.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
the chips you spilled whiskey on is not the same thing as Irish breakfast potatoes
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Randomize
