the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I hate college football. It's really fucking with our phone sex schedule.
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
