My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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