Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
the day after is always just damage control
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
