Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
