Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
