Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
Randomize
