She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
He yelled "juice on the loose", yes i am sure i need plan b
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
So your contact has been changed to "jizz weave" in my phone. Now, as strange and random as that may be, I'm slightly embarrassed to say that I have more than one contact that fits that description so please identify yourself.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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