So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
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