you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
your life is going to be an empowering working mom montage tomorrow to Katy P's ROAR... --are you living in a yoplaít comercial?
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Congratulations! We have a period
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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