Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Randomize
