Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
I'll pick you up. Avoid slightly awkward no-we're-not-dating-but-I'm-still-screwing-your-son-after-2-years parental run-ins.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
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