That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Randomize
