they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Randomize
