I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Randomize
