did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Just had the moment before I realised I'd packed you off in an ambulance last night after funnel-feeding you Monster and vodka. Your mom thinks I'm a dick doesn't she?
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
