Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
