that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Dick very happy bro
I mean, I'm not upset that HE's getting married, I'm upset his penis has to go through with it by default
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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