i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
Meeting relatives from another state drenched in tequila and smelling of weed. I'm gonna kill you for soaking the only bra I brought in Jose Cuervo Gold.
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
