He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
What happened to fro yo and sex?
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
