you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
I woke up with glitter and eggshells in my bed wtf
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
