As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Randomize
