just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
I'm at your house, laying with your dog, eating taco meat, take your time.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
Randomize
