I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
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