Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
I watched her follow him out of the bar, chase him around the corner and literally throat punch him. It was awesome.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
