no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Alex I've come up with a new medical condition. dick depression. it's a real thing and I have it
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
