I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize