DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
Is there a polite/non-lush way to ask how alcohol ranks on their list of priorities? Because like idk how to break the ice furreal.
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
Randomize