considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
