I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
Handcuffed. To. Steering. Wheel. Fuck.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
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