Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
