I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
