I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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