You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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