D3 body, D1 cock
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
Randomize
